Bridal Packets | Behind the Scenes at the Office

I thought it would be nice to share with you a peek at what my bridal packets look like since I feel very proud of the love and craftsmanship I put into creating them. After a late lunch with my parents earlier today, I thought I'd step into the office and get some photos of these packets done before I mailed them off. Setting the layout and snapping the photos would be fairly quick and effortless. 

Then I remembered my Abigail was awake.

After a few minutes, I finally thad the images I was aiming for and a quick job was finally finished. As a business owner, all the responsibilities land on my shoulders to take care of. Not only am I the photographer, but I am also in charge of the business aspect, and, because of my inherent nature, I am also director of creativity. The latter is definitely my most favorite job title aside from photographer. I enjoy expressing my creativity and love making pretty things. 

Anyway, I put all my love into these little packets and two of them went off in the post this afternoon. There is some pretty-ness headed your way Texas and Massachusetts!

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

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2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

2014 © Marisol Izaguirre

My sweet little one is always two steps behind me, everywhere I go. I tell my husband that sometimes I am trying to meet a deadline and when I finally get her to nap, all I want to do is wake her up because I miss her. Motherhood, so sweet isn't it? Yes, yes it is. Getting my work done is much more complicated now and the office doesn't last clean longer than a day but I have the best mini-me assistant with me 24 hours a day. I am blessed.

Happy Friday!

Plagiarism.

I have wanted to write this post for a very long time. 

It's been over a year that these thoughts have ran over and over through the speed limits of my mind. Sometimes I tossed and turned while I laid in bed at night; wondering if I was selfish, crazy, jealous or simply making everything up. Perhaps it was a little bit of everything. 

I went to school to study a subject I knew nothing about. People will often ask me if I studied photography but I simply smile and say I did not. I taught myself this craft and I probably know about one percent of the whole knowledgable pie. That's why I love photography; I'll never cease learning. In school I learned to read better, write well, and explore deeper. I always dreamt of pursuing a higher education. More, I always wanted more. But then the reality of life set deep within me and I discovered that I could always pick up a book and start school, so I decided to leave all that behind and walk forward to create my own future. 

My thoughts differ very much from the general consensus, and I accept that not everyone thinks like me. I always dreamt of attending university to learn. I have an immense love of knowledge, and, most importantly, of constantly learning. I always want to learn more. I did not apply to college with the intent of graduating with a degree in "insert your favorite major here" so that I could graduate and become a "insert really cool career here." I went to school to learn - simply that: learn. I am proud of the degrees I earned but, truthfully, I had no real desire to pursue a career with them. I guess I am just wired very differently from the population. An attribute that can always be a good thing just as much as it can be a fault. 

I suppose what I am trying to say is that I have built this photography job, my career, and my brand on who I am. While we can have similar backgrounds, each one of us is still at some level very different from one another. I find that beautiful. The struggles I have experienced and the success that I wish for is what shapes the human being I am. 

In every single word that I write, action I carry out, or dream I dream up, I pour my very soul into. So I wonder, how can someone try to be exactly who I am?

They can't. And finally accepting this common-sense reality is what has allowed me to finally let go of whatever turmoil I had. Through out the past few years I have encountered many instances where a peer has attempted to blatantly or inadvertently copy who I am. Some instances were cute and some were silly. But some, some really stole a little piece of my heart. 

I spoke to some of my closest friends, to my family, and to my husband. I asked if I was merely being whiny and unnecessarily sensitive. Imitation is a form of flattery, right? Yes, I suppose it is. But some of the things I saw were flat out ripping me off. It bothered me, a lot. I spent the hours brainstorming, exploring my creativity and building on my brand. Then someone would come along and use my idea, my words, my thoughts. It completely irked me! Admittedly, it made me jealous. I was jealous of someone trying to be who I am and succeeding with it. The kicker, the action that ultimately really broke my thoughts, was a flat out case of plagiarism. While I attributed previous instances to giving someone the benefit of the doubt and simply looking past it, I couldn't not look past someone copying my emotions, words written directly for my clients, about the love of my life. I wrote about my husband and someone just came along to copy and paste my stuff. 

"If I'm inspired to write this about my husband, does this mean they love my husband, too," I thought?

Clearly the answer is no. But this latest act of plagiarism really crossed the line. I was angry. I wanted to share with the world a screenshot of an impostor. I wanted to yell and say, I'm not making this up. But I didn't. And that was hard. Instead I let all the anger build up inside me. I let it simmer deep within me and decided that it was finally time to stand up for myself. So I waited for a few days and made a call. I confronted the impostor head on. I was nervous when I made the call. I wondered if I would yell. I wondered if I would cry. I wanted the person who'd answer to realize that their actions were wrong. They were hurtful. 

Hurtful. That's when I realized the pain behind it all. I was hurt. I was hurt that someone could so easily take my thoughts, my mind, my heart, and be me with their art. So all I wanted was an apology. I prayed that I would at least get an apology. If the person was arrogant about the issue, I'd vow to be really mad. But if they apologized, it would be a thousand times better. I prepared with rebuttals and re-analyzed my arguments. I was sure that I had the proof, the evidence, to support a rational thought. 

Then she said she was sorry. 

Peace. I finally had, actually I have, peace. 

I decided that the person on the other end of the line simply did not know better. For whatever reason, she just did not. I choose to believe that because it maintains my faith in humanity. Our conversation ended with a simple, "I'm sorry." And for more, I simply could not ask. If you, fellow colleague, ever come across this post, I have forgiven your actions. Know that you cannot be me, why would you want to? You are an autonomous individual, embrace that. Find yourself and make that the focus of your life. You will find success, I know you will. Just be you, and let me be who I am.

This is me. 5'2" with black hair and brown eyes. I wear braces though I am about to hit 30 soon, I look like a teenager. I am me and no one else can be who I am. I embrace that.

This is me. 5'2" with black hair and brown eyes. I wear braces though I am about to hit 30 soon, I look like a teenager. I am me and no one else can be who I am. I embrace that.

All that was necessary was communication. And my closest family and friends had said that, month after month. But I didn't want to listen. I wanted to play the victim and rhetorically keep asking why. I just needed to stand up for myself and confront the issue head on. I am so glad I finally did that. I feel much better now and I no longer feel angry. I was jealous of someone being better at being me. Right? Yes, I believe I was. But I have forgiven. I will look forward and not look at the past. 

Believe in yourself. If you don't, no one can.

My first year working as a mother.

Surely, I would have been accepted, attended, and graduated from some law school by now. Even after the first application attempt and deciding to decline, repeating the process again some time later, and then just completely giving up on the idea. I finally realized I had my dream career. I was sure that I wanted to be an attorney and sometimes I wonder what I would really be like in the courtroom. But then my little girl will giggle and I remind myself of the wonderful choice I have made.

I am a stay at home mother, so thankful to my hardworking husband. Joshua, you truly do make all my dreams come true - dreams I never realized would come into fruition. We share a home together with our little human - the apple of our eyes - and while you are away helping babies, Abigail and I are dreaming up new ways to cuddle and clean up our messes. There are many days, days like today, where I never even change out of my pi's. Abigail and I are both in dire need of a bath and the kitchen is a mess. Oh, and so is the bedroom, the living room, and my office. 

Being a housewife makes me want to hug my mother a little tighter every time I see her. While I grew up I never saw her get up for work. But boy, was I wrong. She never clocked out of it! I hope that I can be almost as good as her. I'm trying. Abigail was playing with me in the office a few days ago and was just quite simply terrorizing everything she could get her little hands on. At some point I gave up trying to do what I was doing and just hugged her. She smiled and gave me a kiss, a sloppy one. I walked over to Joshua and rhetorically asked him if, "If I was an attorney, do you think I'd let her into my office?" 

Yes. Yes, I would. 

My point is, that while I am a housewife and stay at home to take care of my home, child, and husband I am also a working mother. As a business owner, I have no one to turn to when something happens other than myself. It is my responsibility to maintain operations operating. If I have a sick day, great. I can stay in my bedroom. But sometimes sick days do not coincide with my free schedule and pop up at worst possible times. Times when I have work to finish, deadlines to meet, and people to see. 

The hardest part is definitely trying to work with my little one always two steps behind me. But I make it work. I have no choice. Well, of course I have a choice but I choose to be the primary caregiver for my little one. And my choice makes me happy. I consider myself a problem solver; I think analytically. So best case scenario, I am training my very own assistant! 

Cheesy joke aside, I make it work. Sometimes I simply do not have a sitter and Abby will simply tag a long. I bring her everywhere I can with me when I can't I rely on my beloved family to step in and aid me. They are who I ask for help. Whether daily tasks, meetings, or small planned or impromptu sessions, I make it work. But the hardest parts are wedding days! Breastfeeding a baby is no easy task - especially when you have to be away for sometimes 8 to 12 consecutive hours a day!

But my little one, she is always by me.

At a mere 21 days old, I cuddled with my little one while I waited for my first bride and groom meeting of the new 2013 year. She was tiny and slept so well.

At a mere 21 days old, I cuddled with my little one while I waited for my first bride and groom meeting of the new 2013 year. She was tiny and slept so well.

Oh Joshua, aside from this being one of my favorite photos, you were such a big help during this full day of work.

Oh Joshua, aside from this being one of my favorite photos, you were such a big help during this full day of work.

My aunt and my mommy so graciously watched Abigail for a Brownsville wedding...

My aunt and my mommy so graciously watched Abigail for a Brownsville wedding...

… And then Abby got hungry so she found me - all the way at the Gladys Porter Zoo!

… And then Abby got hungry so she found me - all the way at the Gladys Porter Zoo!

A quick break after portraits and before the reception meant lunch time for this little one.

A quick break after portraits and before the reception meant lunch time for this little one.

Here somebody called me very last minute to hire me for some portraits. I had no one available to watch Abby so I improvised. Baby wearing is awesome and has helped, so much!

Here somebody called me very last minute to hire me for some portraits. I had no one available to watch Abby so I improvised. Baby wearing is awesome and has helped, so much!

Here's Joshua again just a few feet away while I am photographing a lovely family. 

Here's Joshua again just a few feet away while I am photographing a lovely family. 

My momma, cruising the pathways of the Hilltop Gardens with Abby while I work.

My momma, cruising the pathways of the Hilltop Gardens with Abby while I work.

For this engagement session, my grandmother helped my momma take Abby on a nature walk for a whole afternoon of shooting at Quinta Mazatlan.

For this engagement session, my grandmother helped my momma take Abby on a nature walk for a whole afternoon of shooting at Quinta Mazatlan.

No, I am not an amazonian river woman with my child on my back while I trek through the jungle with a large clay jar of water on my head walking back to my village. I have commodities, options, and choices I can make. But I choose to be with my child and find inventive ways to work and do what I do while still taking care of her as much as possible. It was hard and it may never get easier but the memories that I get to make are so much fun and worth it for me. I am just a girl trying to grow her business, learning to be a wife and mother, and trying to keep sane - with a baby on my hip.

I can't imagine taking my baby girl into the courtroom, could I? Ha! Guess I'll never know.

So if you are a working mother, whatever your line of work, I applaud you. If you are a stay at home mother, of one or many, I applaud you. Mothers are amazing!!! I hope I can live up to the expectation of such a honorable and humbling word.

To my loving family who is always there to help, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To my amazing clients who are understanding and simply the best, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To my little one who loves me, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!