I've been rather busy since the start of this year, mostly running after my little girl. Once she learned to walk, she really picked up the pace quite fast. Add growing a baby, a very big baby, into the mix and you may be able to understand why it has been difficult for me to keep up with the blog. There has been many favorite images I have wanted to show and share but, ultimately, spending time with my growing little family took most of my free time. I'll be honest, it's been a struggle finding the balance between motherhood and entrepreneurship all while being a wife. Did I mention I am still actively a daughter and big sister to three growing young men? Rightfully so, I am no different than any woman out there; I have a few things I need to learn to juggle. I am just starting to find my routine, and keeping a balance.
Last evening my husband and I were discussing my inability to focus on the computer and catch up on the business side of photography. Being a photographer, for me, is so much more than merely snapping pretty photos and printing them. I need to be involved and lately I feel like I haven't been. In discussing possible options to find my balance, my husband simply out of tiredness giggled at me. There I was, sitting on the nursery floor and still in my pajamas, writing out a massive to-do list. The only problem was I couldn't find the time to make myself do any of it. I was trying to find a scapegoat, something to blame my lack of enthusiasm for my business. I searched and came up empty handed. The only one to blame was me. I, myself, had fallen off the excitement wagon that so effortlessly made my job easy. I now found it tiring to step into my office and simply work.
But excuses aside, the birth of the newest addition to our little family has made my mobility, so to speak, much easier. While healing from a caesarian has made recovery much more annoying and admittedly difficult, I feel like I can physically work now on finding that balance. I feel the creative juices flowing deep within me again and a drive has certainly been reignited. I should note that I partly need to thank my brother Michael for a very inspiring pep talk yesterday afternoon. I also need to thank him for always bringing Abigail and I lunch when my husband had to return to work.
It is because I am surrounded by amazing and loving people that I am able to do what I do, my children included. Four weeks ago, my husband and I welcomed our son - a healthy and beautiful baby boy! Our little girl is now a big sister and we are now a family of four. My excitement to create, and share with my children as they grow, inspires me. I want to be the best because they deserve the best. Most importantly, I want to be the best because my family believes in me.
I was looking through my husband's baby book and found the following quote handwritten by his mother about the day he was born.
“Joshua, your dad is a very good man. I hope that you grow up to be as kind as he is. I hope that you will take an interest in your wife and your children - even from the beginning!”
I found these words quite profound and immediately felt like reminding my in-laws of the wonderful son they raised. Joshua, my dearest husband, has grown up to be kind. He is so ceaselessly interested in our children and so very much in love with me from the day we first met. We were meant to be together, he and I. It is because of his love and support that I have been able to be both a mother and photographer from the comfort of our little home. I just want to spend time with my little family! However, as my sister Sofia once said, I need to continue with what I set out to create. The excitement that photographing people deeply in love showed me has manifested in my own personal life. Over the past two years I have been on a ride looking to find my role in our household as a wife, mother, and business owner. The journey will be long but I am so thankful to have the journey to travel. I am re-focused, and ready to create, again - and again, until I can no longer re-invent my craft for myself.
So because my blog has always been a tad personal, here is our little boy... Finnley Dalton :)
God is good.
Thank you for reading, thank you for always reading.
**A special thank you to the best clients ever.**